Why dont gay men want a relationship

Gay men are — for the most part — a great group of people. This seems a pretty fair assessment to me. For the past year or dating, I have made the conscious effort to NOT state what it is I am looking for upon meeting someone in person or online. If you are not in a position to date someone right now, you should not be going on dates.

I love a man with drive. Should an awesome guy enter the equation — great. If someone reaches out to speak to me, I ask them what they are looking for because I am amenable. I have a wonderful career, great friends and an amazing family that keep me pretty busy. Here are some of the reasons I have received for not being asked on a second date:.

Again, I am calling bullshit on this excuse. If you are a single gay man who lives in a large city such as New York City — you have had this happen to you before. But a partner is neither going to define who I am or make or break my future. Unless you plan to date a newborn baby, we all have baggage.

Work can be stressful, keeping up with friends can be a task and taking a few moments to relax can be fleeting. If not, then why go on a date in the first place? Many gay men get invested in a relationship that simply isn’t working. This is a personal favorite of mine.

From commitment fears in males to male dating anxiety, various factors contribute to why some guys refuse dating. This excuse for not meeting again is the oldest and lamest of them all. We are all busy at work, and honestly, I would expect nothing less from the person I am dating.

The reasons men may not want a relationship vary widely and can include a desire for independence, prior negative experiences, fear of commitment, or simply not feeling ready for the responsibilities and compromises a relationship entails. So why is it that gay men make dating so much harder than it needs to be?

The conversation is effortless — you share similar tastes and make each other laugh. Why then are we so terrible to each other when it comes to finding a mate? Time and time again I hear horror stories of bad first dates, ghosting and people telling flat out lies to first daters.

This trend is not only about personal choices; it’s deeply intertwined with societal shifts and changing expectations in relationships. Rather than admitting defeat and moving on, they cling to the hope that the relationship might still work out. You exchange numbers and begin texting.

Of course we have a few bad apples every group does but we are talented, hard-working people who share a sense of community and have banned together in times of strife and prejudice. You chat a bit via text for the next few days, but a second date never happens.

I have had many, many, many first dates in the past year and a half but very few second dates. I am very happy to remain single. I am happy to have fun, meet new friends or go on dates in the hopes that it turns into a relationship. You may end up being pleasantly surprised by what you find.

We all have pasts and sometimes the things that have happened to us in the past can be very traumatic. He walks to you respective subway stop — you kiss and make plans to see each other again. We all have jobs and lives: you make the time for the people you actually want to see.

As an openly gay man with over 30 years of experience as a therapist, I have seen scores of single gay men sabotage their efforts to find a partner, placing obstacles in their own. You meet a seemingly great guy either organically at a bar or online.